Week 8 Goodbyes

I would like to take this time to say thank you to everyone in my group that has supported me, encouraged me, challenged me, and helped me throughout this course and previous courses.  It has been really fun getting to know each of you and I have enjoyed all of our conversations and discussions.  I wish each of you luck in your future courses and with your future career choices.  Thank you to all of my group members:  Bethany, Melanie, Sha-Kevia, Shawn, MarieFrance, Tinka, and Victoria.  Good luck to each of you.

Adjourning Groups

I believe adjourning from a group is difficult when close bonds are formed.  Working closely together in a group can lead to personal relationships and bonding.  It can be difficult to say good-bye.  I believe the hardest group to leave was when I was getting my bachelor's degree.  I had the same people in all of my classes for 2 years.  We always formed the same groups and became very close.  It was hard saying goodbye because we had all became very good friends and teammates.  I had shared so much with these group members over the past two years.  We had learned and grown together.

It has been several years now and we are all still friends and communicate with each other through facebook.  We have a special bond with each other that did not end when our classes and group projects ended.  I am glad that we still talk and are friends.

Communication Week 5

At the Head Start where I work we lost funding and, because of this, we lost a classroom.  We returned back to work this week and I had everything from my classroom, plus the classroom furniture and materials from the room we lost, all shoved into my small room.  My assistant and I have been going through the things and figuring out what we want and what do not want.  Nobody has came to get the extra furniture from our room and we have had a difficult time working around it.  One can barely walk because of all the extra stuff. My assistant is a very emotional person and this task has really gotten to her this week.  We have had several disagreements this week on our classroom.  I am the type of person that if I have not used something in a few months chances are I won't use it and it just needs to go.  She is a "pack rat" and does not want to throw anything away.   This has caused some disagreements between us.  

I actually used some of the strategies that I have learned from this course with her this week in order for us to have better communication and less disagreements.  One of the strategies that I used was compromise.  I listened to her voice her opinions about why she wanted to keep certain things.  Then I explained why I thought we should get rid of it.  Then I suggested that we compromise.  We would keep it, if we could find a place for it, but if we did not find a use for it this year then we would get rid of it for next year.  She agreed.  Another strategy that I used with my assistant was empathetic listening.  I have learned that with her, you need to be a good listener.  A lot of the times she just needs someone to listen to her and she needs to feel wanted and important.  By using these two strategies, I was able to resolve our conflict.  

My co-worker and I had a discussion on conflict communication and becoming a NVC.  She told me that she tries to listen to parents or others whenever there is a conflict and tries to understand where they are coming from before voicing her opinion.  She said she just tries to take each conflict that comes up and handle it to the best of her ability and learn from it.

Communication Week 4

Thinking about how I evaluated myself compared to how my husband and co-worker evaluated me, I wasn't really surprised too much by the differences in results.  I try to act the same around my family and co-workers.  I think the one thing that did surprise me the most was how my scores varied so much on the anxiety test.  I hate public speaking.  Even if it is just speaking out in front of my co-workers when a new person is around, I hate it.  I get all nervous and feel sick.  I avoid public speaking at all cost.  I scored myself at a 73, which falls into the "high" category.  When reading the description of this category, I feel it describes me perfectly.  My husband scored me a 59, which put me into the "moderate" category.  I laughed when I saw that because I felt that he would have scored me closer to my own higher score.  My co-worker scored me at a 50, which is also in the "moderate" category.  I was not as surprised by her score because she knows I hate public speaking, but she has seen me do it many times with work functions.

This activity gave me some insights into how others perceive my communication skills.  One insight that I learned about myself is that I am more people-oriented.  I was placed into this group by myself, my husband, and my co-worker.  I believe this will help me when dealing with the families that I serve.  It will help me to build relationships with people in my personal and professional life.

Another insight about communication that I gained from this activity is that I need to relax more when it comes to communication.  I have high anxiety, although others may not see it.  I need to have more confidence in myself and learn to relax.  This will be useful in my professional life because it will help me to communicate better with others and not be worried or stressed over the anxiety that I feel.

Another insight that I have gained about communication is the knowledge that people judge you based on what you allow them to see.  Even though I feel high anxiety when it comes to public speaking, I try not to allow others to see how nervous it makes me.  I hide it and that is why they did not score me as having high anxiety.  We need to be more honest with others and let them see our "true self"  This is something that I plan to work on in both my personal and professional life.

Communication and Culture

I have never really thought about the different ways that I communicate with different groups of people until this course.  I find that I do tend to communicate differently depending on the group that I am with.  For example, with my close friends and family I find myself more relaxed and laid-back and more honest.  I tend to say or do things that I wouldn't do with other groups.  With my co-workers I tend to be a bit more reserved and keep my opinions to myself in order to avoid conflicts.  With the parents of my students, I always find myself acting and speaking more professional.

There are some strategies that I can use to help me communicate better with these groups of people.  We need to be aware of cultural differences when communicating with our students and their family.  One strategy that we can use to help us with cultural differences is by taking the time to learn about the family's culture and applying the platinum rule.

Another strategy one can use is to be mindful .  This means "to be aware of your behavior and the behavior of other" (O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M., 2012, p. 88).  By being mindful, it can give you ideas of positive ways you might react to different situations that happen without offending someone.

The third strategy that will help you to become a better communicator with different groups of people is to practice your communication skills.  Some ways to practice can include doing the right thing, being empathic, listening effectively, and thinking before you speak or act (O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M., 2012, P. 92). 

References

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

TV Show Communication

This week I watched an episode of the classic TV hit, FRIENDS.  I never did watch that show when it was on television so I watched it online.  First, I watched it with the sound turned off.  From watching the nonverbal communication, I would think that the group of people are friends.  They seem to be celebrating a baby.  Banners are being hung up by the group and they are smiling and speaking with each other.  They use direct eye contact and seem to listen when someone else is speaking.  They smile at a lot at each other and even hug each other.  A woman and man come inside the room with an infant.  Everyone hugs them and wants to hold the baby.  It seems like they are close friends, maybe even family.  The men leave the apartment and the girls smile at the baby, asleep.  The baby wakes up and the girls try to rock the baby back to sleep but the baby keeps screaming.  It appears that after awhile, the girls are very frustrated and tired because the infant continues to cry.  Meanwhile, the man goes into a shop to get coffee and runs into another man.  From their expressions, they are not friends.  The father of the baby tries to ignore the other man, but he speaks and they exchange words.  The father tries to hit the other man but he dodges and the man hits a pole.  I do not think they are friends at all.  However, the man takes the injured one to the hospital and fills out his paperwork.

I watched the same FRIENDS episode with the sound turned on.  I learned just how funny this show was and what made it so poplar.  Being able to listen as the characters communicated verbally with each other was wonderful.  Their nonverbal expressions matched their verbal comments.  The plot of this show was that Rachel just had a baby and was trying to get the baby back to sleep.  The baby would not stop crying.  Her friends, Monica and Phoebe, try to help her but the baby girl keeps crying.  Finally, Monica is the only one that is able to get baby Emma to sleep.  Ross and Joey are friends, but they are mad at each other because Joey has a crush on Rachel.  Joey tells Ross to hit him because it will make him feel better.  When Ross goes to hit him, Joey ducks and Ross his the pole instead.  Joey takes him to the hospital. 

I felt that watching the show without the sound left me at a disadvantage.  I did not know the characters and I did not understand the plot at all.  I could tell that the girls were having a hard time getting the baby to sleep and they looked frustrated and wore out.  This mirrored the actual plot of their storyline.  When it came to the guys, I had the wrong assumption about them.  Their nonverbal attitude implied that they were not friends.  They tried to avoid each other, and went as far as hitting each other.  However, watching this with the sound explained what was going on with the two of them.  I was wrong about their relationship with each other.

I think watching a show that I was familiar with would have been a lot easier.  I would know the characters and their personalities so I could tell what their relationship is like and read their nonverbal communication cues a lot easier.  I learned that by observing only the nonverbal communication can be deceiving.  We make assumptions based on what we believe is happening and it may not be the case at all.  We have to take all the communication skills and be active listeners.  This experience was very interesting to do.

References
Crane, D. & Kauffman, M.  (2002).  FRIENDS:  The One Where Emma Cries.  Bright/Kauffman/Crane Productions

Communication

I can think of a number of people that have really good communication skills that I want to model after.  The person that I am going to write about is my church preacher.  He is also our town's city mayor.  His name is Johnny and he is a really nice person.  He communicates very well within the community.  Some of these forms of communication are verbal and some are nonverbal skills that he has.  He speaks clearly and always gets his message across.  He is never rude to anyone and shows respect.  He listens to other people and thinks about what they are saying.  He does not try to force his opinions on anyone, but really tries to see their side of the situation before responding.  I think that is a good skill for anyone, especially teachers, to have when dealing with children and families.  When he is speaking or listening, he looks at the person and makes eye contact.  In my opinion, this lets them know that he is really listening and hears what they are saying.  He doesn't seem distracted by other people or objects.  He gives everyone his full attention. 

I hope to be more like him when it comes to communication.  I feel that he inspires people and people feel comfortable speaking with him.  I know that I feel comfortable speaking to him about anything because I know he will respect me and listen to what I have to say without judging.  He makes people feel important and he values their opinions.  I want to be like that.  I want others to feel comfortable coming to me and knowing that I will show them respect by listening and having those good communication skills.  He is a role model to many people.  I hope to one day be more like him.

Professional Hopes and Goals

Working with children and families can be so rewarding.  Working with children and families from diverse backgrounds can be even more rewarding for everyone involved.  One hope that I have when working with children and families from diverse backgrounds is the hope to learn more about their culture and make them feel welcome, loved, and accepted.  I believe that once they feel this connection, then we can work together for the interest of the child. 

One goal that I would like to set is to make everyone feel accepted.  I want to do away with personal biases and focus on really getting to know the whole child and his or her family.  I will strive to do what is in the best interest of the child.  Another goal is to teach all my co-workers different ways to work with children and families from diverse backgrounds.

I want to thank all of my classmates for their support, ideas, and discussions that we have had.  I have learned many things from each of you.  I wish you all luck and success in your future classes and with your future careers.  Good luck!

Welcoming Families From Around the World

The country that I have chosen as my "family's" country of origin is the country of Chad.  The only thing that I know about Chad is that it is in Africa.  I do not know anything about it.  I would prepare myself by learning all that I can about this country.  The five ways that I would prepare myself would be:

1.  Do Internet research.  I would Google Chad and read everything that I can about the country, the language, religion, and the people of the country. 

2.  I would do a search to see if I could find and connect with someone from that country.  I would try to communicate with them to learn more about the culture. 

3.  I would talk to my co-workers to see what they know about the country or if they have ever had any experiences with families from there.

4.  I would find materials that go along with their culture and put out in my classroom to try to make the child feel comfortable being there.  I would put up posters or other materials that I can find.

5.  I would educate myself about the culture and try to educate the other students in the room.  I would take the time to explain to them about our new friend and explain what I knew about where she came from.  I would explain about accepting her and making her feel welcome in our classroom. 

I would hope that all of these preparations would benefit both me and the family.  It would benefit me because I would become more knowledgeable about this child's culture and diverse background.  I would be better prepared to accept this child and, hopefully, make the family feel comfortable entrusting me with their child.  I hope that it would benefit the family because they would see that I care about their culture and want to make them feel welcome and that I accept them.  I am not judging them or holding any personal biases against them.  I would hope that it would be a positive experience for all involved.

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

I remember an incident from when I was around 9-years-old.  I was at the playground and there was another little girl playing by herself.  She was black.  I went up to her and we started talking and playing together.  We were having a lot of fun until another group of children came over.  They were a few years older than us and they started saying means things about my new friend.  They were teasing her because she was black and saying that I should not be playing with her because she was different.  Her mother was nearby and when she heard what was happening, she took her daughter and left.  The older kids laughed and then walked off, leaving me to play by myself again.  I remember feeling confused and not sure what had just happened.  I knew there were not a lot of black children in my neighborhood but that still did not me from wanting to play with her.  I didn't think of her as being different. 

I feel that this girl's equal rights had been diminished by this group of kids using their own prejudice and biases against her.  I am sure that they were just doing what they had been taught from parents or close family members.  She was not treated fairly.  They were making fun of her because of her skin color.  They made her feel like she had no business being at the playground or playing with other children, especially a white child.  They did not know this young girl, but made an opinion about her based on skin color. 

This brought up a lot of mixed feelings for me.  I was really too young to understand the history between whites and blacks and why these children had such hatred for someone they didn't even know, especially a child.  I was confused.  I wanted to play with the girl and wanted the other group of kids to leave us alone.  We were not bothering them or hurting anyone.  It made me angry that someone could say such hurtful things to someone else and believe that it was the right thing to do.

I believe that the way people judge others needs to change.  The media is to blame for a lot of these problems.  The ways that news is received and broadcast needs to change.  People have learned false information that causes them to judge and use their own personal biases against others.  Getting to know others that are different than themselves would be a great opportunity for a person to change.  Everyone deserves respect.