Communication Week 4

Thinking about how I evaluated myself compared to how my husband and co-worker evaluated me, I wasn't really surprised too much by the differences in results.  I try to act the same around my family and co-workers.  I think the one thing that did surprise me the most was how my scores varied so much on the anxiety test.  I hate public speaking.  Even if it is just speaking out in front of my co-workers when a new person is around, I hate it.  I get all nervous and feel sick.  I avoid public speaking at all cost.  I scored myself at a 73, which falls into the "high" category.  When reading the description of this category, I feel it describes me perfectly.  My husband scored me a 59, which put me into the "moderate" category.  I laughed when I saw that because I felt that he would have scored me closer to my own higher score.  My co-worker scored me at a 50, which is also in the "moderate" category.  I was not as surprised by her score because she knows I hate public speaking, but she has seen me do it many times with work functions.

This activity gave me some insights into how others perceive my communication skills.  One insight that I learned about myself is that I am more people-oriented.  I was placed into this group by myself, my husband, and my co-worker.  I believe this will help me when dealing with the families that I serve.  It will help me to build relationships with people in my personal and professional life.

Another insight about communication that I gained from this activity is that I need to relax more when it comes to communication.  I have high anxiety, although others may not see it.  I need to have more confidence in myself and learn to relax.  This will be useful in my professional life because it will help me to communicate better with others and not be worried or stressed over the anxiety that I feel.

Another insight that I have gained about communication is the knowledge that people judge you based on what you allow them to see.  Even though I feel high anxiety when it comes to public speaking, I try not to allow others to see how nervous it makes me.  I hide it and that is why they did not score me as having high anxiety.  We need to be more honest with others and let them see our "true self"  This is something that I plan to work on in both my personal and professional life.

Communication and Culture

I have never really thought about the different ways that I communicate with different groups of people until this course.  I find that I do tend to communicate differently depending on the group that I am with.  For example, with my close friends and family I find myself more relaxed and laid-back and more honest.  I tend to say or do things that I wouldn't do with other groups.  With my co-workers I tend to be a bit more reserved and keep my opinions to myself in order to avoid conflicts.  With the parents of my students, I always find myself acting and speaking more professional.

There are some strategies that I can use to help me communicate better with these groups of people.  We need to be aware of cultural differences when communicating with our students and their family.  One strategy that we can use to help us with cultural differences is by taking the time to learn about the family's culture and applying the platinum rule.

Another strategy one can use is to be mindful .  This means "to be aware of your behavior and the behavior of other" (O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M., 2012, p. 88).  By being mindful, it can give you ideas of positive ways you might react to different situations that happen without offending someone.

The third strategy that will help you to become a better communicator with different groups of people is to practice your communication skills.  Some ways to practice can include doing the right thing, being empathic, listening effectively, and thinking before you speak or act (O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M., 2012, P. 92). 

References

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

TV Show Communication

This week I watched an episode of the classic TV hit, FRIENDS.  I never did watch that show when it was on television so I watched it online.  First, I watched it with the sound turned off.  From watching the nonverbal communication, I would think that the group of people are friends.  They seem to be celebrating a baby.  Banners are being hung up by the group and they are smiling and speaking with each other.  They use direct eye contact and seem to listen when someone else is speaking.  They smile at a lot at each other and even hug each other.  A woman and man come inside the room with an infant.  Everyone hugs them and wants to hold the baby.  It seems like they are close friends, maybe even family.  The men leave the apartment and the girls smile at the baby, asleep.  The baby wakes up and the girls try to rock the baby back to sleep but the baby keeps screaming.  It appears that after awhile, the girls are very frustrated and tired because the infant continues to cry.  Meanwhile, the man goes into a shop to get coffee and runs into another man.  From their expressions, they are not friends.  The father of the baby tries to ignore the other man, but he speaks and they exchange words.  The father tries to hit the other man but he dodges and the man hits a pole.  I do not think they are friends at all.  However, the man takes the injured one to the hospital and fills out his paperwork.

I watched the same FRIENDS episode with the sound turned on.  I learned just how funny this show was and what made it so poplar.  Being able to listen as the characters communicated verbally with each other was wonderful.  Their nonverbal expressions matched their verbal comments.  The plot of this show was that Rachel just had a baby and was trying to get the baby back to sleep.  The baby would not stop crying.  Her friends, Monica and Phoebe, try to help her but the baby girl keeps crying.  Finally, Monica is the only one that is able to get baby Emma to sleep.  Ross and Joey are friends, but they are mad at each other because Joey has a crush on Rachel.  Joey tells Ross to hit him because it will make him feel better.  When Ross goes to hit him, Joey ducks and Ross his the pole instead.  Joey takes him to the hospital. 

I felt that watching the show without the sound left me at a disadvantage.  I did not know the characters and I did not understand the plot at all.  I could tell that the girls were having a hard time getting the baby to sleep and they looked frustrated and wore out.  This mirrored the actual plot of their storyline.  When it came to the guys, I had the wrong assumption about them.  Their nonverbal attitude implied that they were not friends.  They tried to avoid each other, and went as far as hitting each other.  However, watching this with the sound explained what was going on with the two of them.  I was wrong about their relationship with each other.

I think watching a show that I was familiar with would have been a lot easier.  I would know the characters and their personalities so I could tell what their relationship is like and read their nonverbal communication cues a lot easier.  I learned that by observing only the nonverbal communication can be deceiving.  We make assumptions based on what we believe is happening and it may not be the case at all.  We have to take all the communication skills and be active listeners.  This experience was very interesting to do.

References
Crane, D. & Kauffman, M.  (2002).  FRIENDS:  The One Where Emma Cries.  Bright/Kauffman/Crane Productions

Communication

I can think of a number of people that have really good communication skills that I want to model after.  The person that I am going to write about is my church preacher.  He is also our town's city mayor.  His name is Johnny and he is a really nice person.  He communicates very well within the community.  Some of these forms of communication are verbal and some are nonverbal skills that he has.  He speaks clearly and always gets his message across.  He is never rude to anyone and shows respect.  He listens to other people and thinks about what they are saying.  He does not try to force his opinions on anyone, but really tries to see their side of the situation before responding.  I think that is a good skill for anyone, especially teachers, to have when dealing with children and families.  When he is speaking or listening, he looks at the person and makes eye contact.  In my opinion, this lets them know that he is really listening and hears what they are saying.  He doesn't seem distracted by other people or objects.  He gives everyone his full attention. 

I hope to be more like him when it comes to communication.  I feel that he inspires people and people feel comfortable speaking with him.  I know that I feel comfortable speaking to him about anything because I know he will respect me and listen to what I have to say without judging.  He makes people feel important and he values their opinions.  I want to be like that.  I want others to feel comfortable coming to me and knowing that I will show them respect by listening and having those good communication skills.  He is a role model to many people.  I hope to one day be more like him.