Thinking about how I evaluated myself compared to how my husband and co-worker evaluated me, I wasn't really surprised too much by the differences in results. I try to act the same around my family and co-workers. I think the one thing that did surprise me the most was how my scores varied so much on the anxiety test. I hate public speaking. Even if it is just speaking out in front of my co-workers when a new person is around, I hate it. I get all nervous and feel sick. I avoid public speaking at all cost. I scored myself at a 73, which falls into the "high" category. When reading the description of this category, I feel it describes me perfectly. My husband scored me a 59, which put me into the "moderate" category. I laughed when I saw that because I felt that he would have scored me closer to my own higher score. My co-worker scored me at a 50, which is also in the "moderate" category. I was not as surprised by her score because she knows I hate public speaking, but she has seen me do it many times with work functions.
This activity gave me some insights into how others perceive my communication skills. One insight that I learned about myself is that I am more people-oriented. I was placed into this group by myself, my husband, and my co-worker. I believe this will help me when dealing with the families that I serve. It will help me to build relationships with people in my personal and professional life.
Another insight about communication that I gained from this activity is that I need to relax more when it comes to communication. I have high anxiety, although others may not see it. I need to have more confidence in myself and learn to relax. This will be useful in my professional life because it will help me to communicate better with others and not be worried or stressed over the anxiety that I feel.
Another insight that I have gained about communication is the knowledge that people judge you based on what you allow them to see. Even though I feel high anxiety when it comes to public speaking, I try not to allow others to see how nervous it makes me. I hide it and that is why they did not score me as having high anxiety. We need to be more honest with others and let them see our "true self" This is something that I plan to work on in both my personal and professional life.
Misty,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. It was interesting to see how different people perceived our communication. I had two family members assess me, but I wish that I would have been able to have a close co-worker because I am a bit different at work than I am with my family members.
Misty,
ReplyDeleteI had my husband and co-worker survey me too. My results were much like yours...I scored higher in the anxiety than they scored me at and I also found myself to be more people-orientated. I realized that my family scores will be more truthful for me in my personal life and my co-worker score in my professional life. I realized it is good to decipher between the two though because I am more watchful about how and what I communicate at work. Thanks for sharing!
Victoria Leming
Hello Misty,
ReplyDeleteI like what you are saying that “people judge you based on what you allow them to see” because it speaks to how skillful we are in protecting ourselves. Why would we show our weakness when we can use it to our benefit such as using anxiety to become someone who actively listens, who is well-prepared, and who cares. Barbra Streisand’s stage fright which prevented from performing live 27 years exemplifies one outcome of high anxiety (Oprah, 2009). If Streisand accepted to ease her anxiety by using Teleprompters, I am sure that you and I can find ways to alleviate our anxiety when we have to speak during staff meeting or make a presentation and work toward reaching self-actualization (O’Hair, & Wiemann, 2012)
References
O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
Oprah. (2009). From The Oprah Winfrey Show Icon Jay-Z and Living Legend Barbra Streisand. Retrieved from: http://www.oprah.com/entertainment/Living-Legend-Barbra-Streisands-Humble-Beginnings/4